A Rant of The Insane for The Insane by The Insane

Today I saw him.

We went to see Watchmen.

Sometimes, I doubt if he really likes me.

But in that moment, I wanted to just throw myself at him and let it be over with. I wanted to melt in his arms.

And that was when I realized:

"Oh shit. I'm SO fucked."

I used to post on here so often. I wonder what happened =[

I would ask Guiness, why do you always run away?

A beat. Boom, boom, boom. Heart beat. Pounding chest.

I haven't been here in a while, have I? I suppose I fell off the face of the Earth, or perhaps I just never have anything to say anymore.

I got a new idea for a story. But I'm not sure if it's good for a story. I'm thinking.....SCREENPLAY!!!! I used to only write dialogue, actually. I wrote a few scripts in my day, but they all sucked. Both Laura and Derrick said that my forte was dialogue. So I don't know. I'm trying to go back into the things I used to write, before I got enraptured with a muse and things like pretty, empty words and endless snowy nights, falling snowflakes far too dainty. A Penny Lane of sorts. Though I doubt her fruit-flavored douches and her pills really helped the Stones that much. [<33 Almost Famous, fyi]

But I used to write [not well, might I add. I don't really think I've ever improved much, though I'd like to hope I've improved SOME] not a sentence of drivelly love stories and poems of sunrises and bullshit like that. I wrote fantasy stories of a race of people who lived beneath the ocean, I made up worlds and wrote extensive stories and made maps. I wrote about medieval witch hunts and yelling people and the smell of burning flesh.

I'm going back to my roots. Hopefully the word love never comes up.
 

Go to urbandictionary. com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the definition it gives you.

1. Your Name? Talia

-


2. Your Age? 16

-

Legal age for fucking in the UK. 1. Woohoo! I'm 16! Now I can go and get my brains fucked even more by some guy. 2. Shit, now I can't fuck guys over threatening statutory rape after they fuck my brains out. 3. Woohoo! My girlfriend turned 16 today. Now I can fuck her brains out in front of the cop shop! and give them the finger at the same time! ...Next day: *knock at door* "I'm afraid we're going to have to take you to the station for indecent public behaviour, and for having sex with a minor - she turned 15 yesterday, not 16" ... "Shit, the fucking bitch slut!"

3. One of your friends? Rita
-


4. What should you be doing? homework
- (Noun) a punishment given to students by evil teachers after the students have already put in 7 hours of hard labor.

5. Favorite color? green
-yes... it is most definitely referring to the marijuana... and also, upon occassion, any substance with similar uses. too, properly, of course, it is a golfing term, but that;s really not very much fun, now is it?

6. Hometown? brooklyn
- Best borough of NYC. The home of many greats; rappers, actors, singers, loactions for great movies, pizza, nail places, hair salons, etc.

7. Month of your birthday? february
- the best month ever.. every person born in this month is a true pimp and gets all the guys/girls
8. Last person you talked to on the phone? Angela

loves girls extreamly too much.but knows how to act like they like boys.when with girls who are close, best friends, says things like ohh! put your leg on top of me hurry! or like ahhhh! i'm scared. hold me! and it is quite disturbing at times. --wow.they are scary and like all the attention. at times quite annoying. crazy lesbian lover. they like to spend the night with you all the time and insist to sleep in the same bed as you. hmmm. wonder why! That girl likes singing the song, "I Kissed a Girl" too much. i think she is a angela all the way.

9. Favorite sport? hockey



10. Your last name? Sabag
-it is a certain dance, somewhat like the crip mixed with the harlem shake, but ten times cooler

Or any, for that matter? Perhaps we disappear from the planet Earth when we have nothing of relative importance or significance to say. Not that I seem to ever have anything of significance to say, but there I go again, degrading myself, creating a person less than who she really is.

I feel almost....buried. Buried beneath a whole lot of expectations and failures and winged hopes, which are in fact flighty dreams. And they do fly. They fly so fast that I had neither time nor power to catch them. But that seems to be the nature of these things in my case.

But where am I since I last posted here. I made promises to myself, and I don't think I've kept them well, but I'm trying. But I suppose that sort of thing does not belong here.

I suppose sometimes, we really have nothing better to say than reiterate what has been said for a decent year and nearly a half, hoping to whomever that saying it again and again will make it go away. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Get out of my head.

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1. If someone says "is this ok?" you say
Hard To Say

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Time Turned Fragile

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Until the bombs wipe out the clouds

4. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
who i am hates who i've been

5. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
star money

6. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
hysteria

7. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
your legs grow

8. ANGRY SONG?
sparks

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
gone away

10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
dog eat dog

11. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
12:51

12. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Toro

13. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
just like i remember

14. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
teenagers

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
son of a widow

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
heartbreak hotel

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
sea to sea

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
come on kids

19. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
one is the loneliest number

20. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
burn out bright

21. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
shelcha

22. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
citizen erased

23. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
to what end

24. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
samson

25. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
forget december

26. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
beautiful

27. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
in da club

28. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
wake up

29. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
ghost of york

30. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
competition song

Well. That's why they have transfer students.

Last:
01. Last Cigarette: a month ago? idk?
02. Last kiss: 2 months ago? a month ago? what month is it?
03. Last Cry: yesterday
04. Last Library Book Checked out: brave new world
05. Last Movie Seen In Theater: twilight
06. Last Book Read: the stranger
07. Last Cuss Word Uttered: FUCK!!!!
08. Last Beverage Drank: diet pepsi
09. Last Food Consumed: pizza
12. Last Time Showered: HAHA uh....I'M GOING IN 10 MINUTES, OKAY?!
13. Last Shoes Worn: uggs...stfu
15. Last Soda Drank: diet pepsi
16. Last Thing Written: hey, babe, do you have your matches stuff all in one neat little package?

18. Last Annoyance: the disappearance of number 17
19. Last Time Scolded: in the car
20. Last Web Site Visited: facebook

Body:
01. Piercings: ears, but i want to do nose
02. Tattoos: nooope
03. Height: 5'9
04. Hair color: blonde
05. Eye color: green

Last:
01. Movie you rented: house of 1000 corpses
03. Song you listened to: big girls, Mika
04. Song that was stuck in your head?: natural's not in it, gang of four
05. CD you bought: the verve pipe
06. Person that's called you: avi
10. Person you were thinking of: sangeeta...wow that's sounds creepy
11. Friend you made mad: idk i generally piss off everyone. it's probably rita.
T-R-U-E O-R F-A-L-S-E.
01. You have a crush on someone: true
02. You wish you could live somewhere else:true
03. Think about suicide: not right now
04. You believe in a God: true
05. You want more Piercings: true
06. You drink/have drunk: true
07. You do/did drugs: true
08. You smoke/have smoked: cigarettes? true
09. You like cleaning: false HAHAHAH I=SLOB
10. You like roller coasters: truuuuuuuuuuue
11. You write in cursive: sometimes

For/Against:
01. Long distance relationship: idkkk...
02. Teenage smoking: against but i plead the fifth
03. Doing drugs: mostly, but it depends which
04. Driving drunk: against!!!!

Have you:
01. Ever cried over the opposite sex: nope =]
02. Ever lied to someone: duh
03. Ever been in a fist fight: yes
04. Ever been arrested:nope

Random
01. Who is your best friend: i dont really pick best friends, but if i did, it would be sangeeta, rita and kathleen. NO. BRAINER.
02. Shoes do you wear: i have 24 pairs. it's a cyclee
03. Are you scared of love: nope
04. What are your favorite bands? i hate this question, only because i mean, its more like...whaat am i in the mood to listen to today. but if i had to pick, it would be no doubt

Number:
01. Of times you have been in love? twice
02. Of times you have had your heart broken? a million times
03. Of hearts you have broken: never....at least, i dont think so.
04. Of drugs taken? one drug, several times
05. Of people you consider your enemies? VOLDEMORT =D
06. Of scars on your body?  too many to count
07. Of things in your past that you regret? can't count, but no regrets, so i guess thats none


EIGHT lasts:

8. last person kissed: plead the fifth

7. last beverage: diet pepsi

6. last phone call: kathleen?

5. last text message: maria

4. last cd played: lazuz

3. last bubble bath: like 4 years ago?

2.last time you cried: yesterday

1. last meal: pizza at the ncsy center

SIX have you's:

6. have you ever dated someone twice: well angela and i broke up like every week so i suppose i dated her like 15 times xDDD

5. have you ever been cheated on: no

4. have you ever kissed someone & regreted it: yes.

3. have you ever lost someone: yes. i've lost a lot of people, though a few have come back

2. have you ever been depressed: mmhm

1. have you ever been drunk and thrown up: nope

SEVEN things you did in the past three days:

1. Went to school: nope

2. Went to work:have none of that. I NEED A JOB

3. Colored: lol no

5. Been drunk: nope

6. Slept: duhhhhhhhhhhhh

7. Been High: nope


list THREE favorite colors:
1. green
2. red
3. teal

list TWO things you want to do before you die:

1. publish something
2. see the world


What do you think of:

1.Drugs? hm

2. Lowering the drinking age? yes

3. drinking and driving? never

4. Straight, Gay, Bi? open to all, but i loves me the women xD

5. Do you have a crush?yeek. can you call it that?

Today was a good day.

1. I got accepted to University of Vermont!!!!!!!!!!!
2. I got a hair complement by someone kinda cute, but imma not say who.
3. I had a good salad for lunch.
4. Wolfe gave an extension on a homework that was supposed to do for Monday. Which means I can breathe this weekend.
5. I get an extra weekend to study for my AP Economics test of GDP, due to missing the test tomorrow.
6. I like my project for art, even if Kathleen is going to hate it and it's not was Casquerelli assigned. But just don't want to paint a person.

And now I have to pack my bag for this shabbos, which is going to be so busy. =D I'm spending Shabbos in West Hempstead, then Sat. night I'm making Hannukah packages in Darchei Noam in Oceanside, and then on Sunday I'm giving platelets. NO ASPRIN, RITA, AND EAT A LOT OF CALCIUM-RICH FOODS.

Yeah. I know I haven't posted in a while. Whatever. =D